Dreaming Of Korea
by FanWriterWV
Summary: After coming home, Hawkeye has a recurring dream about his 4077th "Family". Sydney Freedman comes by to help him cope with the "Loss". One-shot.


_**Dreaming Of Korea**_

_Crabapple Cove, Maine, 1954_

The OR was overflowing with casualties again. Nurses and orderlies struggled to keep up while Hawkeye and the others worked during what looked to be another long shift.

"More on the way," Klinger-in another snazzy nurse's uniform-said as he came in with another set of X-Rays.

Hawkeye looked at the pictures and winced.

"What is it, Hawk?" B.J. asked from another table.

"More chest shrapnel," Hawkeye replied. A nurse swabbed his perspiring forehead. "That makes nine so far." But even as he said it, it seemed like more.

"We'll take them as they come in," Colonel Potter replied. "Just keep working."

That didn't sound right. "I feel like I'm on an assembly line," Hawkeye replied.

"It's your skills as a repairman, Hawk," BJ said.

"Certainly not your bedside manner," Charles added.

Over in a corner, Frank Burns sniffed, "You always get the special cases."

Now Hawkeye knew something was wrong. What was Frank doing here? Then he looked down and saw whom the patient lying in front of him was. "Oh, my God…Radar…" Hawkeye stared at the young man's heavily bandaged chest.

Trapper John looked at Hawkeye from across the room. "What do you mean? Radar went home."

Hawkeye stared at him, then at Henry Blake, who was wearing the suit he and Trapper had made for him. "We all did, Hawk," Blake reminded him. "Why are you still here?"

Hawkeye looked down at the table. Radar's body was gone, replaced by another faceless young soldier. The soldier's eyes opened. "Some of us never left, sir," he said.

Hawkeye woke up, sweating. His father opened the bedroom door.

"Son, are you all right? I heard you moaning Radar's name…"

Hawkeye shook his head. "I'm fine, Dad. It was just a bad dream."

"Another one?" His father sat down on the bed beside him. "I was a medic in the First World War," he said. "If you want to talk about it…"

"No, Dad, I'm okay, really. Well, since I'm already awake, I guess I'd better go ahead and make us an early breakfast."

Hawkeye's father looked at his son with concern. Benjamin had always been a strong man, but even so, he was worried. It was like reliving the news of his son's breakdown all over again.

After they ate, and Hawkeye left for an early start at the hospital, his dad put in a call to someone who had helped Ben so much in the past…

_One week later_

"So, sailor, your dad says you've been having trouble sleeping." Sydney Freedman, formerly Major, now just Doctor, sat back casually in his office chair.

Hawkeye shrugged. "It wouldn't be the first time." He smiled wanly. "At least I'm not out shooting invisible marbles this time."

"No, but you've been apparently spending a lot of time with old friends…including some who didn't make it back."

"Yeah, that was a little weird." Hawkeye rubbed his eyes. "You remember that dream I told you about, the one where my old medical instructor was asking me how to reattach a limb and I looked down and realized I didn't have any arms? Well, it was kind of like that-but a lot more real. It was like I was really back there, with BJ and everyone else."

"What do you think it means?"

"Well, I hope it doesn't mean that I actually miss Korea. That would be really weird."

"Well, it seems to mean that you miss your friends more. When was the last time you talked to BJ or the others?"

Hawkeye looked down at his hands. "Not since I got home. More than a year at least." He looked back at Sydney. "Is that it? Am I just…friend sick?"

"They were all a big part of your life, and now you're alone again. That can take some getting used to."

"But what about Radar and Henry? Radar went home, but Henry was the one who didn't make it back."

"You told me after he died that he was like the big brother you never had," Sydney replied. "You came from a small family, right? Just you and your dad?"

Hawkeye nodded. "After Mom died, it was just the two of us."

"And now your extended family is no longer here. So you had a family reunion in the place where you got to know all of them. Korea might have been a hellish place, but they made it bearable."

"And now home doesn't feel like home without them," Hawkeye added.

"Don't worry, sailor/" Sydney stood up and patted Hawkeye on the shoulder. "It will…it will."

THE END


End file.
